this is not intended to scare anyone but myself

The easiest way out is to just fucking do it.     Empty heart heavy thoughts. The biggest fear i have is to try and not succeed and than live with the fact that it wasn’t my destiny yet but why does it feel so right. My blood runs with the power to do this to be able to get the nerve up to just fucking step on that chair and let go. I know its my time it is there is no other time for this. ive lived all i could live and there is nothing more for me anymore. it has never been easy even though it should have been easy. being raised around a shit ton of meth heads just made me realize how fucking shitty this world can be. How can you sit there and be such a fucking hypocrite telling me not to do one thing when you did it my hole life. for you to say you didnt ruin my life really fucking hurts because that just puts this all back on me again making me feel weak and useless if this is all my fault why cant i fix it why do things still replay in my head and why cant i talk about my problems.. because im afriad of them. unfixable the reason i cant see my future is because  i know my time is coming and this is all i have left to say to all of you who couldnt help me… If i could have gone back in time and changed anything i would have changed your perception of my thoughts and my mind i would have changed the way i tried so hard.

p.s this didnt help